Tag Archives: pastry

That Saturday Baking Bullshit

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OH SATURDAY MORNINGS. A glorious time of sweatpants, sinking into the couch, and long sips of coffee. Bless your damned soul, Saturday morning. Stay forever – will ya?

In my more aggressive early twenties, I would jump out of bed (no hangover!), squeeze into spandex (what love handles?), and speed over to a yoga class at Equinox (disposable income!) without even a thought about slowing down to embrace the laze. But – alas –  a lot has changed since then, and I have now come to appreciate (and love) a slower weekend morning.

My favorite way to start off the weekend is whipping up a batch of somethin’ somethin’ in my PJs using whatever I have on hand in the cupboard. There is something special about starting off the weekend treating yourself with a pastry. A batch of muffins instantly makes the house smell like a bakery and makes you feel like a domestic goddess! (You could totally win the Great British Bakeoff! You are savvy and great in the kitchen! Any man would be damned lucky to wake up to a home-baked breakfast pastry!) Oh sorry, I digress…

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Last Saturday I started the weekend with these (vegan!) persimmon coffee cake muffins, which sound like a lot of bougie bullshit, but was all I could churn out without a grocery run. I had no butter or eggs (had to be vegán – sry haters) and three overly ripe, almost-rotting Hachiya persimmons on the counter that I had to put out of their misery. Anywhoo – these were bomb and that’s why I’m writing about them on this blog!

ENJOY AND SAVOR YOUR SATURDAYS, BITCHES!

VEGAN PERSIMMON COFFEE CAKE MUFFINS
Recipe here

Mother effn scones, ya’ll

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Mondays are hard. Aint nobody waking up on a Monday like, “Imma gonna SLAY today” – not even Yoncé. So I’ve been doing this thing to ease into the week. Every Monday morning, I rest from the workout schedule, close my computer, and turn up the tunes. I take a news detox – no NPR, no NYTimes, no nada. On Mondays, I make a strong ass cuppa coffee and I fucking BAKE (breakfast, you stoners) and it’s fucking THERAPY.

On Mondays mornings, my house smells amazing. I end up giving away a few muffins, half a loaf, a few scones. I make other people’s Mondays a little lighter (heavier in calories, but who’s counting – it’s almost the holidays) AND I have a delicious breakfast for the rest of the workweek! I can grab a muffin as I run out the door on Wednesday to my workout class. EASY AS FUCK.

Last Monday, I made these Maple Oat Scones. The people loved them, so I thought I’d share. Try out the Monday morning bake – it might be your new favorite thing, too.

xoxo

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Maple Oat Scones

Adapted from Smitten Kitchen

2 1/4 cups all-purpose flour, plus extra for dusting surface
1/2 cup rolled oats
1 very heaped tablespoon baking powder
1/2 cup dried coconut
1 very heaped tablespoon granulated sugar
1/2 teaspoon table salt
Scant 3/4 cup (160 grams) unsalted butter, cut into pieces
1/4 cup maple syrup
1/4 cup heavy cream
butter for brushing
Turbinado sugar for dusting
Honey for drizzle

Preheat your oven to 400°F (200°C). Butter parchment paper on a baking tray.

Whisk the flours, oats, baking powder, coconut, sugar and salt together in a large bowl. With your fingertips, work the butter into the dry ingredients until the mixture resembles fine breadcrumbs. In a small dish, combine the milk and syrup, then add these liquid ingredients to the butter-flour mixture. By hand or with a rubber spatula, bring everything together to form a softish dough. If it feels too dry, add a little more milk but not enough that the dough is sticky. The dough should not be sticky at all.

On a lightly floured surface, pat or roll the dough out until it is 1 1/4 inches (3 cm) tall. Using a 2-inch (5-cm) cutter, cut the dough into rounds and place them on the prepared tray so that they almost touch. Glaze the tops with butter, drizzle with honey and sprinkle with sugar. Bake for 20 to 25 minutes until the scones are lightly golden.